Sapphire Dreamer

I never thought I would say I would be happy. I AM. I am so happy that I feel as if I could burst at the seams. There has never been a moment in my life when utter contentment suffused everything else. There was so much to learn that the days left me exhausted. An Exhaustion that was very welcome. Between training with Lucivar, learning about SaDiablo Hall, Studying privately, and shopping with Jaenelle, there was never a quiet moment.

It was what I had craved my entire life. A "Family" of sorts. Each of us taking care of the other with that firm and loving hand. The options were there for building a new life that didn't include violence or hatred. The peaceful feelings surrounding the hall were always present. The Princes always willing to help with some matter or the other, in fact insisting at times.

"We serve." They would tell me. It wasn't the sort of statement I was used to hearing. I felt as if it should be other way around, that however is part of shedding the slave skin. To learn to lean on others and accept help when it is offered to you.

I had never thought to say that.

She awoke silently as she did everymorning. Checking her surroundings and breathing a sigh of relief. It hadn't been a dream. She really was in Kaeleer. She was safe and protected by the one who had saved her. She was part of an inner circle. The feeling of just being able to lay still and breathe deeply was not lost on her. There were so many ways she wanted to express her gratitude, but none of them quite seemed adequate.

Closing her eyes for a moment more before gathering her strength to arise, she thought about the peacefulness of just being allowed to sleep. Not having to jump up to serve anyone in a manner abhorent to her. She could just be herself. Learning would be a challenge. Her whole life's outlook would be changed. It was the first morning and she should go find out what this new world had to hold for her.

It had been a long time since I was able to participate in a Winsol Celebration. So many years since I'd been able to Dance on Winsol for the glory of Witch and all She represents. I had decided this year nothing would stop me. I had already decorated my Winsol Tree and stacked gifts beneath it. A bit hasty perhaps yet still somehow it fit and I was very happy with the end results. This year.. this year I would dance.

It was that cold morning I awoke and decided enough was enough. From the minute the guards came to get me, I didn't fight. I knew my life was hanging precariously by a thread. I waited until they all thought of me as someone passive and decided I wasn't all that entertaining anymore.

They thought they had broken me. I let them believe it for as long as it took to get away. A small rebellion. Yet one that saved my life. Little rebellions had occured daily, the fighting, the refusing to give in. Not submitting when required. All of these were just a taste of what was to come.

I rebelled. It wasn't spectacular, and it wasn't obvious. I simply slipped into oblivion. That seemed enough for me.

She could feel the pain griping her stomache with a feirce intensity that frightened her. She wanted to find a place to stay tucked away and hidden from Everyone in the hall. There seemed no end to the pain. She decided staying in her room and forgoing breakfast was the best idea that she could come up with.

She knew how testy the males got when one of the coven's moonblood made its show.
This time seemed worse than the last few that had occured. She knew she couldn't use craft of any kind to help herself, yet found her way to get cleaned up and then forced herself back into bed and covered herself up with a thick blanket. She laid her head down on the soft pillow and closed her eyes willing herself to sleep.

Unfortunately the pain wouldn't go away. She tried not to whimper and just relaxed herself as much as possible and tried to breathe through the pain. She hoped that She wouldn't be missed at breakfast. She knew if She was, it wouldn't be long before someone was searching for her. She hated to cause a fuss of any sort.

She had thought to practice with Lucivar some more today with the sticks. She was just starting to get good at it. Thankfully they hadn't agreed on a time for the day. She felt shaky and achy all over. Sick in a different sort of way. She sighed and once again tried to relax...

I know what Revenge is. I know that a lot of people in my place would want Revenge for what was done to them. To be vindicated for all the things that have happened in the short time I've lived. However in the short time I've been in Kaeleer, I have discovered that I simply want to forget the past.

What good is vindication if it only hurts someone else. There is such a peace that radiates from the hall, when the males aren't being snarly, that I simply want to be that peaceful.

There's enough cruelty in the worlds, there's simply no reason to have the need for revenge. I'm sure there are plenty out there who would like to tear that Queen limb from limb. While I would most likely be a spectator should that ever happen, I doubt I would find joy in it. Simply sadness that a Queen such as She ever had the chance to be as evil as she was.

So revenge for me. Accepted, but not necessary.

A little bit of information on myself:

( Bio Sheet )

Its true, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You had to be strong enough to defeat it in the first place. Slavery, being tortured, the beatings, the forcing to serve. There's not a lot of ways to survive that other than breaking. I refused. I wanted to be free. And so I ran. Ran from the responsibilites involved. Those given me and those of my own.

There were times I thought I wouldn't make it. That getting away was a myth, a dream. Then i found The Living Myth. And She changed my world.

If I had only been stronger. If I had only learned things that would have made things different.

If.

What If I hadn't met Jaenelle. If She hadn't come across me while I was running and hiding. What If I had chose to not speak the truth. Did I really want that held over me? What If there were reasons other than my own.

What If they hadn't accepted me, and taken me into their home?


If.

So many ways to wonder about the "if's" in life. So many mind shattering moments to contemplate things better left unsaid. Things that should never have happened to begin with. I'm learning. I'm outgrowing my slave skin with each passing moment.

All because I chanced everything on one encounter with an extrodinary Witch. ...Witch

( My Dungeon )